Comfort

On my windowsill is a display of sympathy cards I have recieved after my dad's sudden death. I think when people send cards they think that it's a small thing - but having them here is very comforting. To see the care that went into choosing them, and thinking what to write.

The pixies sent a really sweet card - where one of them has written - 'Cheer up', next to their name.

People who come close and share about their losses are also very comforting - this loss is too big to cover over with - yes as a family we are fine.
We are not fine, we are not ok - we've lost part of the structure of our lives and even the energy to hide how hard this is too much.

At the funeral - it was so good to have people from every stage of our lives their. People from our childhood church, people who worked with Dad, the families of our partners, friends from the past and present. Don't underestimate the value of just sitting with someone in their grief - it helps anchor a part of you that wonders when feeling normal ever comes again.