Work; how to have healthy relationships.

Here is a massive hint;

If someone phones you at work and asks to speak to the union rep, and you don't know where they are, and you offer to help, and the caller says, I really need to speak to a union rep, and I don't want to discuss my situation as it's a health matter - it may not be in you best interests to

a) speak to your colleague within earshot of the phone, and say - what a bitch that caller is.
b) then discuss word for word everything you have discussed with the caller with your colleague.
c) do nothing about the enquiry.
d) when you get back on the phone and you speak to the caller again who asks for your name, and your managers name, and then pretend to transfer the caller, but then not really.

Well, if that's what you would do - then at least try and work somewhere where they have no dignity at work policy, or an HR department who would go ballistic to hear one of the staff is not clever enough to say bad things without putting the caller on hold first.

Thanks to Elizabeth, J and J and M, who are at the forefront of my mind, as I pretend they are sitting next to me, as I have to gather up my shaky self, and then speak to the union regarding the matter I neede to discuss in the first place, preferably without - what a bitch you are stuff in between.

Shock and stress

Without trying to sound like, and I claim the most stressful six months of the year award for me, I actually am having quite a serious dose of it.
I have been in the pursuit of another job for a long time now, but just before dad died, I told my boyfriend - I really mean it, I really am quiting; not knowing that ah, actually I really would need to quit.
Many many thanks to everyone who has fed and watered me - because you are not just healing up grief - you are also sustaining a tired, frustrated and wee bit scared lady who is working in such a tough environment she goes to see her boyfriend for lunch, cries all over her lunch, he makes her practice her tough face, and the cafe we meet in probably wonder what in the hey kind of relationship we are in. I would not say just now is top joyful.
On the day before dad died, both my deputy and other member of staff shouted at and criticized me for a whole heap of things during a 'we have lost our tempers and have forgotten we are being rude' moment.
I sustained a brave face the next day, not knowing that I was going to end up off for quite some time for the funeral, and then the consequent getting signed off with shock experience.
Both ladies have continued to be both occasionally supportive and majorly critical in a wearing me down manner, that have included a few finger in my face moments. Not aided by the fact they are both exhausted themselves and walk around like two hot pots of ticking bomb expressions.
So, hide the shock, look taller, keep firm, tell boss.
Ah, here's the rub. Everyone is in disagreement with me as I am not willing to split the staff so that one member of staff will be effectively left alone whilst playing with the pixies. This issue I have wrestled with for months - the Care Commission asked me to do it, and I said no. I've been told that what I think is a load of bull (said very angrily), I said no. Phone calls have gone on behind my back, and meetings arranged, and I said no.
I have been willing to quit over it. I did not know I would effectively get so undermined by it, that I literally have to use every resource possible (prayer, chocolate, ABBA, tidying, not tidying, begging people to tell me what I am doing well) to face each day. I have dealt with tough staff situations before - I know that there are options I could use if I wanted to fight - but right now - I just want out, and I am trying to leave with as little damage to myself as possible.
Now, when I discussed this further, I was asked to consider compromising my stance. Perhaps the staff could sign a waiver. I said - then I would rather not work here. This of course is far easier to say when a friend has kindly helped me get several interviews lined up. Even so - I lost a night of sleep after. I could not be the kind of manager who puts any staff in a situation where if they were accused I could not verify I did all I could to protect them. I do not have the energy to keep fighting the snidey comments and put downs, and I know I have shot myself well in the foot where people go - your leaving, we will miss you. I'd safely say - everyone will go - oh good, she was making a fuss for nothing anyway.
I was advised to stick up to the staff more - I am doing this. I don't know what all the issues are - I suspect there are many - and that I am not the sole source of irritation. If I get a job, I have to work a months notice - not fun. If not - I quit anyway.
In the midst of this I have felt God saying to me - yes you are in the middle of a hurricane - you are right in the eye of it, and I am with you, and I know this hurts. Songs about going from the old to the new, and about following Him, and the joy that comes with that have filled my head for months. At the end of this week prayers that my boyfriend and I prayed for his church, a church that is struggling to survive, seem to be being answered better than we hoped - and that helps. I think there is more goes on around us than we think. I waver between the security that storms are often signs you are actually doing what God wants, and telling Him, that is the last time I tell you I will praise you in all circumstances.

Thank you again in advance for the conversations and hugs that I know you would all give. I'll put them all in the bank account - because it's getting heavily withdrawn at the moment,

Ms FS’s really simple guide to doing well in interviews

1. Quite simply, turn up.
2. If when you are applying by phone you are asked whether you know the building where the interview is, it’s best not to confidently answer ‘yes!’, if you then are going to phone at once or twice later to ask angrily ‘tell me where your building is.’
3.If you do get lost, and then phone to ask for directions, it looks better if you then don’t turn up thirty minutes late, when you were only two streets away lost.
4.It may be wise not to reveal just before the interview starts, ‘Oh, I’ve just come back from working abroad because I found out I was working there illegally.’
5.Two not so hot selling points – I’m local, and at least you won’t need to give me maternity leave.
6.Tell me a little about yourself? Ok, if you pass the ten minute mark, that’s not little.
7.Complaining about your previous job for more than half an hour doesn’t sell.
8.Weaknesses that maybe better to hide include – ‘I’m actually quite gullible, but let’s not even go there!’

I have let my deputy manager know I will tell her when we have had a normal interview, in case both of us begin to lose the ability to spot it.